! Warning. Discard this web page immediately.
! Warning: reading this web page may be dangerous, causing you to get eye strain, hit your head against the computer monitor, fall over in your chair, and it has been shown to produce boredom in cats (but then, what except string under a blanket, doesn’t).
I got a new keyboard today. Microsoft’s Natural Keyboard Pro. (While they make horribly bad operating system software (IMHO) and yet still manage to legally monopolize the market, they make good keyboards.)
As you would expect in today’s litigious society, with the horrors of carpal tunnel syndrome, it comes with a warning. In fact, prominantly attached to the cord that ties the keyboard to the computer is this prominant “! HEALTH WARNING” label:
(As instructed, you will find the complete warning at the bottom, in this case, of this web page.)
What was much more concerning to me was the that the most dangerous thing is not the keyboard, the device by which many a computer user’s hands have met their doom.
No.
It was… the bag.
Yes. The plastic bag in which the keyboard was placed was covered with no fewer than 24 warning messages.
23 using characters not present on the keyboard itself.
10 using characters not present in ISO-8859-1 (Western European “Latin Alphabet No. 1”).
Let it not be said that YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Warning!
No, really, we mean it!
Run now, while you have your life!
Now that’s plastic wrap suited to hold the Necronomicon.
And, for completeness, what not to do with your keyboard:
